Change of Heart

Yesterday, I went to church with the intent to worship God and trusting Him to take care of the Christian fellowship. It was the best church service ever. God totally provided me with what I needed. I had a family invite me over for lunch and I stayed until 5:45p.m. just enjoying the "family" atmosphere.

Trusting in God - you always get what you need, eh?

Church

I've been really struggling with church lately. I hate being a single person attending a new church. You feel downright stupid.

First you enter the church, trying to make eye contact and just search out a smile. You scan the pews, looking for the least awkward place to sit hopefully by someone you may recognize. You attend church, not as a person but as a number. No one knows you (except God). After church you leave the sanctuary and decide - do I leave or do I struggle through the next couple of minutes trying to get to know people? Who do I talk to? Where do I stand?

I know that it's a process getting to know people. But I dread going to church every Sunday. It's extremely tempting just to stay at home.

To me there are two important parts of a church: worshipping God and fellowship. Right now it's very one-sided.

Is there anybody else out there who feels the same way?

Teacher to Student

I just finished a two day conference. Man, I thought I missed school but after sitting in a lecture for half an hour I realised I can't do it right now. I miss being able to walk around and do whatever it is that I need to do. I miss the challenges of the classroom and balancing more than one thing to do at the moment.

I find that it's always so funny how you want something different that what you have all the time, yet when you get it you tend to miss what you had.
For example:
-When I was a student I just wanted routine. Now that I have routine I want more flexibility.

I'm trying to learn to be content but it's an exercise in progress.

Tired yet Rejuvenated (therefore random)

I am so tired from today, my feet ache and my eyes are tired but at the same time I feel rejuvenated. Today after school I started a drama club with my class. It's so great to hang out with your students outside the classroom. And then were really excited about it. Its so great to see them happy with shining eyes and quick smiles.Y ou get to talk, laugh, and not worry too much about maintaining classroom control.

Control - what a funny term to use on people. I have to balance "controlling" my students while allowing their personalities to come through. If I demanded classroom "perfection" then my students would be quiet all day, feet under their desks, eyes either on me or their schoolwork. Yet, that's not allowing my students to discover who they are if I expect them to be my puppets.

Questions asked of me this week in Bible class:
-Did Adam and Eve get to ride dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden?
-Did Adam and Eve go to hell?
-What would happen if we found the tree of knowledge of good and evil and ate from it now?
-What would of happened if Adam didn't eat the fruit but Eve did? Would all girls be banned from the Garden of Eden (you can hear the cheering from the boys in my class on this comment)?
-Why should we worship God? Why not someone or something else?
-What is hell like?
-If I someone got shot in heaven would it hurt?
-Why did the snake get cursed if it wasn't his fault, but Satan's?
And the list goes on.....

Life of a Teacher

So, here it goes. We'll see what comes out of this one.

1. Today I did my first skits with the kids. Wow, I definently had to try to hold back the laughter. One of my boys showed up in a skirt for a skit. He had to be a bride. Instead of "kissing the bride" they declared their love by "high fiving" (if only it was that easy).
2. I'm in a volleyball league and we won all our games last night...rather excited about that.
3. One of my students wanted to take a picture of me. Even though it was my worst hair day yet (did I mention I hadn't brushed it in 24 hrs - slept over and forgot my brush) I felt totally complimented.
4. Got my first Grade 6 bouquet of flowers. A boy came in my class, stuck them in my face and asked for an "A." I couldn't help but laugh.
5. I've found out that I have the second worst class in the school for behaviour. However, I'm totally in love with them and have a great time with them.
6. Made my first phone calls home to parents - how unnerving. But they were extremely supportive and the students were very well behaved the next day.

And my list could go on and on. But I'm tired and swamped and need to get going.