Pre-graduation Syndrome

In all fairness to you the reader, I should let you know that I feel like blogging but don't really know what to put down. This reflects the ways of my mind right now. There is so much in my head but I don't really know how to sort through it. How do you condense all your frustrations, dreams, and thoughts into English words? It's just not possible. I think the Spirit is groaning for me right now because I can't express anything in words at the moment.
Random thoughts for the day:

1. Today I realised that I only have three weeks of classes left - result: joy, anxiety, and uncertainty.
2. Today I got an email from someone very interested in hiring me - result: excitement, confusion, and surprise.
3. Today I talked to someone about my dreams but they didn't take them seriously - result: anger, disgust, and uncertainty.
4. Today I talked to someone who is going through a really hard time - result: desire, frusturation, and compassion.

Seriously, the list could go on and on. How do you balance such opposite emotions? I wish I was a single-minded person that could only focus on one thing at a time. Then my mind, heart, and spirit wouldn't be so torn.

Well, at least one thing is certain right now. I am going to graduate and my life is going to drastically change.

Cheers, to the future being in God's hands.

Ode to my Mother

This is just a Happy Birthday cheer to my awesome mother. May the year that you are twice my age be twice the joy!!

To the mother who has taught me that:

1. The best jokes are at your own expense.
2. The best way to spend your time is to serve others.
3. The best things in life are the small things.
4. The most important hobbies are unselfish.
5. The best way to live your life is to trust God.
6. That happiness starts with accepting the way that God made you.

To the mother who has taught me how to:

1. Do favours and go out of your way without complaining or asking for a favour in return.
2. Laugh at oneself.
3. Focus on the joys in life.
4. Be a good hostess.

To my mother; the most warm, welcoming, and serving individual that I know. I am truly blessed to be your daughter!!!

January 14th, 2006

Well another birthday has come and went. What happened to the early 20s? It's days like this where you reflect on your life and contemplate what it is you have accomplished. I know that we are not required to do more than what God wants us to do, I just hope that I am doing it.

You know you are getting older when (and these are all true):

1. Someone you used to babysit is engaged and getting married this year.
2. You can't coordinate running, aiming, and letting go of the ball in bowling. Turns out my thumb got stuck a couple of times and because of that I landed on my butt.
3. You cannot order a decent meal at a decent restaurant. You always end up somehow starving yourself while paying an exuberant price.
4. You cannot make decisions anymore. I was the most indecisive today that I've ever been.
5. You go bowling with your school and you are the oldest and the most immature at the same time.
6. You get asked if you're a mom.
7. Your grandma says "wow" when you tell her your age.
8. You start wondering where your life went and what you did with it.
9. You look to the future and the first word you say is, "career change."
10. You get tired a lot quicker.

My First Time

Yup, I am finally officially a real university student in my last semester. Today I received OSAP. Apparently, if you are out of highschool for four years, you are termed and "independent" and the amount you are awareded is based solely on your own income. Here's to relaxing through the next four months with my budget.

New Years - The scaries night of my holidays

I know that New Year's is usually a time to make resolutions. But right now, all I can do is be thankful. My little brother ended up in a snowboarding accident last night where he was knocked unconscious. He had attempted, on a slippery slope, to do the double black diamond. There was hardly anybody around. The rest of the details we do not know because he can't remember. All we know is that someone happened to find him on a little travelled road lying there unconscious. He was brought to the hospital where the doctors did lots of tests on him. At one point Sid couldn't remember if Christmas had happened or not. Now he just struggles with remembering the details of the accident.
This year, all I can be is thankful that my brother was wearing a helmet, that someone found him, that he can remember his name, that there are no spine injuries, and that there is no permanent brain injuries.